What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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Winking at old people

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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