My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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black

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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