make me a sandwich!

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wat?

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Women's rights.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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69

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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