why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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I got shot, you laughed

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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