How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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I got shot, you laughed

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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Rick Perry.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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45.

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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