Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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AND

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops