what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

tim has no humor

A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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