What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

Albert your flies undone.

why do asprins work? Because they're white

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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