How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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hi bye

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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mitt romney

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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youre gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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