Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

shabalabadingdong JLR

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

Ruller

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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