Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

Poop.

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

Rick Perry.

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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