mitt romney

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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