A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Women's rights.

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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