How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

The white guy did it!

Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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