Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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The

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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