Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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I'm Spartacus

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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anti-joke teehee

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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