How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Asians...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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Laura Pratz..

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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The Bible

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops