Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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