How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops