What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

What is worse than torture? Not much.

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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