Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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