A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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