How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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