What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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