Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Charlie Sheen

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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pudding

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops