Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops