roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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My life

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noodles

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY 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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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