I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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