Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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DEATH.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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