Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops