Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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