Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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