What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

thumb_up thumb_down +38

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops