How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Like my status for a tbh?

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Your mother is so fat.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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The.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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