You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -137

What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +120

What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops