2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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black

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

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9/11

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops