I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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to see a bad joke look above

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Like my status for a tbh?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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