why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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what's black? a lot of things.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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