A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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