Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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women's rights.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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