A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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anti jokes are for fags

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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my whole life!

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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