Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops