What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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