I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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