How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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