If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops