The white guy did it!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's better than group sex? Gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

thumb_up thumb_down +92

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops