If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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The.

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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