What didn't last long? You in the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where to, sir? Forward.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

thumb_up thumb_down -1

69.... is a number

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops