How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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