Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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