hi

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

anti jokes are for fags

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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