Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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